What Could Have Happened
by redviolette
Summary: What if things happened differently that fateful Halloween night?  Here is my take on what might have happened.
1. Prologue

Prologue

"Lily – take Harry and run!" I screamed, terrified of what was undeniably going to happen. My main concern was for the safety of my beautiful wife and son. She was standing on the first landing on the stairs, tears running down her pale cheeks; in her arms was a sobbing toddler with messy black hair.

"No, James! I'm not leaving without you." Lily said firmly, grabbing hold of hold of my arm. I placed my hand on the back of her neck, and pressed my lips to hers frantically.

"Please, Lily… Harry needs his mum... you need to run with him."

Her grasp tightened.

"Our children need their dad." Oh sweet Merlin… we were going to have another baby… another beautiful baby and I wouldn't be around to hold it.

"Fuck, Lillian… all the more reason why you should run…"

"You can't ask me to leave you – "

BANG. I glanced over my shoulder towards the front door, where I could make out the forms of three wizards.

"Go, now. I'll stall them… I love you, Lillian… until my last breath. Look after my children." I kissed her roughly, and turned to Harry. Lily's eyes were streaming with tears and she still managed to take my breath away.

"Look after your mum, little man." I kissed his fat little cheek.

I pulled my wand out of my pocket and turned down the stairs.

I walked purposefully towards the front door. There I could see the faces of the three wizards and I'm surprised to see that I recognized all three of them. My eyes flashed towards the short one.

"Wormtail, why?" I asked shocked. Peter was supposed to be one of my friends.

"Prongs, I'm sorry." He stuttered. Fury and betrayal flooded me.

"I could kill you for endangering my family!" I bellowed.

Lord Voldemort snickered.

"He was being a good servant, reporting to his Lord," he said cheerfully.

I looked towards the other face behind him.

"Severus… you love Lily. How could you do this to her?" he flinched after I said this. Snape had confessed his love for my Lily the night before our wedding and she broke his heart. She loved me… not Snape, never Snape. That being said, he had always meant a lot to her, having been a dear childhood friend of hers.

"I think we have talked enough," their leader announced, "Crucio."

Agony, overwhelming agony flooded my body turning me into a writhing puddle on the floor. Screams were tearing out of my throat. I would do anything for the pain to go away.

"Where is the boy?" He demanded. Merlin, he wanted my son… over my dead body.

"I will not give my son to you." I would have to die first.

"If you give me the boy, you and your mudblood wife may live." I knew he was bluffing. There was no way he'd leave us alive after this, besides he hated muggleborns.

"You would have to kill me first," I spat clambering to my feet. "Expelliarmus!"

Voldemort blocked my spell with a wave of his hand.

"That can easily be arranged, Mr. Potter."

He raised his wand in front of him, and just before he said the words that would end everything, I saw Snape muttering something quickly under his breath.

"_Avada Kedavra!" _A green light escaped the end of his wand and I heard a loud shrieking from upstairs. I was – milliseconds from being – dead and Lily was still in the house. There was nothing I could possibly do to help her now.

The room went dark and yet for some bizarre unknown reason, I could still hear everything that was going on in our home.

"Severus, you are to search the house for the mudblood. Wormtail, I want you to remove all traces of our visit."

I could hear footsteps thundering up the staircase and along the hallway to the nursery where Lily was with Harry. They were going to kill my family and there was nothing I could do to stop it. How could the universe be so cruel as to keep me mentally alert in death… to allow me to be able to hear the final words of my wife?

"Severus! Please don't tell me you're with him." Lily whispered brokenly to her former best friend.

"Oh good, you have found the boy." Lily gasped taking a shaky step backwards into the side of Harry's crib.

"You are not going to take my baby," she hissed.

"If you give me the boy, you will be spared."

Wormtail was hovering around our living room, looking at old photographs taken of the whole gang. He knew as well as I did that there would be no way that Sirius and Remus would let him live for this. How could he listen to the horrors happening upstairs and not do anything?

"You have already murdered my husband, why would I willingly lose my son? He is all I have left." Snape groaned.

"Lily, please… just give him what he wants. I promise it will all be ok."

"How can you say that? He wants to kill my child." Lily sobbed loudly.

It was time for the leader to speak, "We have given her too much time to stall. One last time, hand over the boy."

"No. You will have to kill me first," Lily said softly. Snape whimpered brokenly.

"Very well then. _Avada Kedavra."_

My head was screaming in agony as I heard my wife fall to the floor; the same noise was heard from upstairs from Snape.

Wormtail went into immediate action, "_Evanesco_."

All thought and sound vanished in to nothing.


	2. Purgatory

Chapter 1: Purgatory

I couldn't possibly tell you exactly how long I was out for. All I can say that sensation returned to every cell in my body and the darkness suddenly was replaced with light.

I found myself standing on a sandy beach, water splashing up against the shore line, even though there was no wind to speak of. The sky was a gray-blue colour, with no sun or clouds. This altogether was strange in itself.

The land was barren, not a tree or animal in sight. Reaching into my pocket, I failed to retrieve my wand.

So much for apparating somewhere…

The only option I had was to walk aimlessly forward.

I must have walked by the same rock at least ten times before I realized that I had been walking in circles.

Where in the name of Merlin was I?

Tugging at my hair in hopeless frustration, I decided to head in the other direction, away from the water.

I took off running, stumbling awkwardly in the sand. I eventually found myself climbing up a small hill.

That was when I heard a very familiar voice singing a very familiar song. What struck my most was that I hadn't heard that voice in almost a year. I hadn't expected to ever hear it again.

_And when I touch you I feel happy inside_

_It's such a feeling that my love_

_I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide_

The singing started to grow louder, the closer I walked.

_Yeah, you got that something_

_I think you'll understand_

_When I say that something_

_I want to hold your hand_

I started to run when I saw a young redheaded girl dancing some ten yards away.

_I want to hold your hand_

_I want to hold – _

The singing stopped as soon as I landed on my stomach. I had managed to trip over my own two feet; you can imagine how embarrassed I felt.

The girl fixed her dark blue eyes on me as I attempted to climb back to my feet.

"Finally, you're here! We have been waiting for you," she giggled happily, shaking her chin length curls.

I grabbed her little hand, and pulled her to me.

"Holly, it is so good to see you. I have really missed you," I croaked, swallowing the lump in my throat.

She was Lily's baby sister, who had been years younger than us. Holly had grown up at a boarding school in Canada near where their grandmother lived. After their parents had been murdered, she had come to live with Lily and I in London. She had been killed when the death eaters attacked Diagon Alley. We had taken her shopping for school supplies for she had just been accepted to Hogwarts.

Understandably, Lily had been devastated. Her little sister was all she had left of her family, even though her relationship with her parents hadn't been anywhere close to perfect, she still loved them. Although, Petunia was still alive, she had made it perfectly clear that she did not want anything to do with Lily.

"Likewise," she said softly, "although I would rather have waited years for you than months."

"I'm sure Lily had been ecstatic to see you," I smiled, looking over her head for my wife.

"I haven't seen Lily. Only you."

I blinked, not understanding.

"What do you mean, Hol?"

She ran her hand through her hair.

"I don't know where she is. I'm sorry…" she said quickly.

Panic started to swell in my chest. Where the hell was Lily?

As if sensing my internal conflict, she grabbed my hand and started to pull me forward, towards the beach.

"There two people you need to talk to. Maybe they will know."

We walked quickly back towards the water, but just be for the small hill we had to climb over, she stopped.

"James, I have to go now."

"Hold on… what?" I gasped.

She couldn't leave me alone here. I'd go insane from worrying alone.

"I need to go."

"You can't leave me alone here!" I begged. I felt as if our roles had been switched around; I was being the scared child and she was the guardian trying to reason with me.

"Trust me, you will be fine. You'll see me again. I promise."

She hugged my neck tightly. Holly had always thought of me as her big brother.

I closed my eyes tightly and when I opened them, she was gone.

"Goodbye, Holly." I whispered to the empty air.

Well, here goes nothing…

I took one step further, and then another.

A little ways away from the base of the hill, stood my parents.

"Mum! Dad!" I shouted, stumbling towards them.

My mother broke away from her place next to my father and ran towards me.

"James!" she cried, laughing happily.

I fell into her arms for the first time in two and a half years. Both my parents had fallen ill a year apart from each other, my dad being the first.

I had always been really close to both my parents having been the only child. My mother would have loved to have had more children but she was unable to after I was born.

My dad and I had always been best friends throughout my whole life. He taught me how to fly my first broom, to play Quiddich and had always been there for me whenever I needed him.

"Mum," I choked against her shoulder. I had fallen to my knees at this point, otherwise this would have been physically impossible. While standing, I was about 6'3 and she nearly a foot shorter than me.

"Oh sweetheart," she murmured, kissing my hair.

I was nearly twenty-two and yet here I was, acting like a small child.

The dam burst and tears started streaming down my cheeks, my shoulders heaving because of the sobs escaping my body.

"My darling, what is wrong?" I buried my face into her blond hair.

"I can't find Lily. Holly doesn't know where she is," I mumbled through tears. She stroked my hair.

My father who had been observing the reunion, made his way over to where we were.

"James, lad. It's so good to see you again." He choked, his hazel eyes shining with moisture.

I pulled away from my mothers arms, and rose to my feet. My dad clapped me on the shoulder, but I had other plans.

I pulled him into a tight hug.

"Dad, I have missed you."

He tightened his arms around me.

Pulling back, I looked at my parents.

"So, where do we go now?" I asked them.

"Well, your mother and I are moving to the next world." He answered, wrapping an arm around my mother's shoulders.

I swallowed.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"You are going to wake up, James."

I stared at my mum in confusion.

"I don't understand." I was dead; there was no waking up for me.

"You aren't dead, son." Dad explained simply.

"You need to go find Lily, she needs you." Mum said smiling sadly.

I remembered another important thing.

My son – where was Harry?

"Harry… is he?" I was not sure how I would possibly survive if anything had happened to my boy.

"He's alive," Mum assured me, frowning.

"Alright, so I need to get him." I said, contemplating how I would possibly go about that.

"Not yet." Dad said.

Hold on…

"Why the hell not? He's my son, he needs me."

"For now, he needs to stay where he is. He has a role to play," my mother reasoned.

"Will I ever get to see him again?" I asked, frightened of the answer I'd receive.

"Someday," Mum said softly.

I closed my eyes tightly, my heart tightened painfully.

I would miss seeing Harry grow up… the thought was agonizing.

"Now, go find Lily," Dad said seriously looking into my eyes.

Mum grabbed hold of me again, and kissed my cheek.

"I love you, James. Always remember that."

Dad grasped my shoulder tightly.

"I love you, son."

"I love you both… so much. I'll miss you." I said, feeling the tears start to fall again.

"We'll meet again," Mum said as the beach started to fade away to black.

And then I was falling…

And falling…

Until…

"It was about time you woke up. I was starting to get worried you wouldn't."


	3. Blind

Chapter 2: Blind

"_It was about time you woke up. I was starting to get worried you wouldn't."_

It was a woman's voice. That much I could register.

I was lying in a very short bed, my feet hanging over the end. My limbs felt really heavy, which wasn't the case while I was in purgatory.

I guess coming back to life could really take a lot out of a person.

Lily, I have to find Lily.

I must force myself up.

I wrenched my eyes open and stared at an extremely blurry ceiling.

First, where in the name of Merlin are my glasses?

"I'm really glad you're awake," the woman said again, shyly.

I swallowed painfully. I really needed something to drink and soon.

"Er… where are my glasses?" I asked, attempting to focus on her shape but having no such luck.

"I beg your pardon?" she questioned awkwardly. The woman had a really odd accent that gave no hint of where I just happened to be. I needed to get back to England.

"My glasses – I can't see a bloody thing without them."

I heard some shuffling around the room.

"I… er… have them here, but they are broken. You will have to use your wand to fix them," she murmured.

Just fucking great; well at least she is apart of my world. I won't have to fake being a muggle, this will come to be very handy.

"I don't mean to be rude, but where is my wand?"

"Er… I have it here."

Great.

"Could you fix them for me, then?" I asked calmly.

"I can't. You see –"

"What do you mean you can't?"

She laughed nervously.

"I'm a squib."

I should have guessed that. Oh well, no problem. I can fix them myself.

Plastering what I hope to be a friendly smile on my face, I said, "No bother. Will you please hand me my glasses and wand?"

"Of course," I felt cool hands place them in my hands.

Pointing the wand at the contents of the other hand I muttered, "_Reparo._"

The room came immediately into focus once the glasses were on. I looked over at the woman and for the first time managed to get a good look at her.

She looked to be around my age, with long light brown hair and light blue eyes. Even though she was sitting down, I could see that she was a tall woman, probably around 5'9. Lily barely passed 5'6, not that I minded.

The woman did not appear to be threatening to me, and my bets are that she does not work for Voldemort. I could at least rest easily for now.

"What's your name?" I asked quietly. She stared blankly at me for a moment before answering.

"Sorry, my name is Emilie Richard."

Alright, so she was French. Lily's grandmother on her mother's side was French so she spoke the language almost perfectly. Her dream had been to teach Harry the language too.

"Hello, Emilie." I smiled.

She looked at me expectantly. I raised an eyebrow in question.

"Your name is?" Emilie rolled her r's when she spoke, it made me want to laugh.

"My name's James Potter."

She looked like she wanted to ask me something, but before she could the sound of a baby crying rang out through her house.

"Excuse me," she apologized be for crying out, "J'arrive, ma chérie."

_I'm coming, my darling._ I did know how to speak a little French; mostly what my wife had taught me. I had been a really fast learner.

She rushed out of the room, allowing me time to get acquainted with my surroundings.

The room was small with mint green walls and hardwood flooring. On the wall opposite the bed, was a large portrait of mansion with children standing out front, it made me think that the mansion was really a school.

I was alone mere moments before she hurried into the bedroom, holding a little baby girl with dark brown hair.

The baby whimpered against her mother's neck. My heart squeezed painfully at the reminder of Harry. I wonder where he could be… and if he's safe. I really hoped that wherever he was, Sirius was there to keep him safe. I trusted my best friend more than anything for he had always been more of a brother to me than a friend. Also, he adored Harry and would do anything to protect him.

I forced a small on my face, "What's her name?"

Emilie smiled fondly, "Her name is Julianne."

"She's beautiful."

The baby's mother blushed at the compliment. Julianne turned her head at the sound of my voice, and stared confusedly at me before reaching her little arms towards me.

"Where was I when you found me?" I asked, curious.

"You had fainted in the park across the street. We carried you back to my home." I had expected that the "we" was referring to her husband, but that theory was shortly proven wrong.

"I'm so glad Deborah was there to help me, otherwise you would have been found by muggles." I did not detect any disdain in how she spoke the last word, which was quite a relief for me. I do not know how I could possibly tolerate staying in a household that despised them.

I smiled, "Thank you both for saving me some more trouble."

Her eyebrows furrowed as she frowned, "Do you remember how you got there?"

"I'm afraid not. I don't know even know where I am," I admitted, thoroughly lost.

"You are in Canada." Well, at least I was right about on thing.

Julianne whimpered in her mother's arms, still reaching out to me.

"Non, Julie. Laisse lui tranquile," she murmured. _No, Julie. Leave him alone._

I smiled at the baby. It almost felt like years since I had last held Harry. It wouldn't hurt to fuss over Julianne.

"It's alright. I don't mind holding her," I said quickly, sitting up carefully.

"You sure?" asked Emilie, unsure. I nodded, and she handed the baby over to me.

Julianne fixed her eyes on my face and giggled, causing a huge smile to spread across my face.

I tickled her sleeper-covered toes, more giggles erupting for her small mouth. Emilie observed us in wonder, a small smile forming on her lips.

"You're really great with children," she commented.

Swallowing, I replied, "I have son who is a little older than her. His name is Harry."

"Is there anyone I should call for you?"

My heart skipped painfully – if only she could call someone.

"No!" I ejaculated.

She flinched, her hand jerking towards her daughter.

"I'm sorry. It's just that no one can know where I am," I explained morosely while she looked at me in confusion. Julianne gurgled up at me, from my lap where she lay.

Emilie stared out the window.

"Everyone thinks that I'm dead and Harry is safer where he is for now," I reasoned softly hating that it was the truth.

"What happened to you?" she asked quietly, lips drawn into a faint line.

"Have you ever heard of You-Know-Who?" I only used that vile nickname because I did not wish to frighten her. Personally, I felt that _the fear of the name would only increase the fear of thing itself_.

"Oh Merlin! He did this to you?" Emilie gasped, hand clasped to her chest.

I chuckled darkly, "Yes, he stormed our house on Halloween to kidnap our son; naturally my wife and I fought him. Turns out, a close friend of ours betrayed us."

Her eyes widened in shock.

"Halloween was almost 9 months ago!"

Sweet Merlin… has it really been that long? I haven't held my wife and son in 9 months! My heart cracked directly through its centre.

Before I could think of what to say, she asked, "Where is your wife?"

I sighed pitifully, "I don't know where my Lily is. I need to find her."

Emilie's face screwed up in determination, "I'll do what I can to help find her."

I smiled slightly, my eyes starting to tear up. She noticed how I was on the brink of falling to pieces, and took Julianne from my lap.

"I am going to let you rest a bit. We will be downstairs, please call if you need anything. Supper will be in a couple hours."

"Thank you, so much for everything, Emilie."

"Don't mention it, James." She squeezed my shoulder before carrying Julianne out of the room. I could hear her soft footsteps down the hallway.

I turned over on to my side, rolling into a ball.

That was when the tears started streaming down my face. Oh how I ached to bury my face in Lily's red curls, to smell her vanilla perfume!

How in the name of Merlin was I going to find her? I was in bloody Canada for Merlin's sake.

Even with my glasses on, I felt completely blind.

Then a thought occurred to me, I knew exactly who I need to talk to.

Slowly, I drifted off to sleep to where I could see my family.


End file.
